January is almost over and so is all hope of me sticking to my new year’s resolutions. I suspect and sincerely hope, I am not alone in such failure. I had resolved to cut out all the bad foods and eat more of the good, while doing a little exercise too. I didn’t do any of it. Not even for one day.
The guilt, oh the guilt! It’s a funny thing is guilt. Instead of spurring me on to squeeze into my lycras and sprint around the block, it just makes me want to reach for those chunky Kit Kats even more and eat the whole (exceedingly tasty) lot in one go. What is that about exactly?
I don’t really have an excuse either. I just crumbled in the face of the cold, harsh reality that we call January. The only exercise I have had is tidying the house and in particular those pesky children’s bedrooms, which is no easy feat, granted.
Here's hoping that tidying children's bedrooms burns as many calories as going to the gym...
By this stage however I should have lost at least half a stone, be feeling tip top and ready to take on the world. Instead, my jeans are tighter than ever and I have a sugar craving that would make even Willy Wonka’s toes curl.
While my life has been a bleary-eyed goodie fest, washed down with a daily glass of Chardonnay, I have been depriving the children of sweets and making sure they eat healthy balanced meals before doing all their homework and going to bed early ‘to get a good night’s sleep’. They are looking and feeling tippety-top right now thanks to my demands.
At least the children have been keeping to a nice healthy routine!
What I deduce from such hypocritical behaviour is that I need someone to come in and take control. Someone to shout at me and tell me what to eat and when to eat it. Someone to change me into my gym clothes at the appropriate time then escort me to a class. Until such a person comes along however I must simply draw breath and dig deep - as must those of you who identify with my plight. Willpower is there within us all. It's just that some of us have to hunt around a little harder to find it.
So here is my call to (toned) arms...Give yourself a break, go easy on the guilt, think about what you CAN do to improve your lifestyle in February instead of what you HAVEN’T done in January. Reach for the kiwis instead of the cookies!
And finally, when you’re next listening to countless others bleat on about their ‘dry January’ and how they love the new spin class at the gym, just smile sweetly and remember that one day - and I’m not saying when - you’ll be just as much a smuggins as they are...
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